i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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