Who wears a wallet chain?!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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