Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
