oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
