We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Your cock deserves a montage
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
