Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
