i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
