it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
