I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I need a beard to bite.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
