Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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