I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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