She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
