i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
