ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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