i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
