somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
