She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
