i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
