erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
