just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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