dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
