im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
