at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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