We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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