Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
