It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
