your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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