i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
