Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
