"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
