You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I want a musical about memes.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
