so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
