apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
