I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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