we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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