thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
