YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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