i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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