i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
