I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
