yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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