I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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