Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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