This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
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I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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