i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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