I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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