i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize