I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
