I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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