did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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