you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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