Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
