He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
