did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
